I COULDN’T DO IT.
I COULDN’T REMOVE THE SHIPPING BLOCK.
CG: HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID THE MONTH GO???
CG: OH, I REMEMBER NOW. I HAD TO HAVE A LONG LIE DOWN OVER THE FACT THAT IT TOOK UNTIL ***APRIL 26TH*** FOR IT TO FINALLY STOP SNOWING.
CG: CG: FUCK YOU, MINNESOTA.
CG: ANYWAY, BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND:
CG: OH, ANON.
CG: ANON, ANON, ANON.
BEST HOLIDAY BREAKDOWN
TAVROS: FIND YOUR INNER SAILOR SCOUT! GAIN 88888 LEVELS!
SOLLUX: FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, REFUSE TO BE THE TECH SUPPORT OF THE APOCALYPSE FOR THESE IDIOTS! GAIN MORE LEVELS! GAIN ALL OF THE LEVELS, ALL OF THEM! THIS WAS YOUR SCHTICK FIRST!!!
FEFERI: BLOW THIS LAME-ASS BUBBLE! YOUR LEVELS WERE MAXED OUT ALREADY BUT NOW YOU HAVE A NIFTY HAT!
NEPETA: SPRAY YOU LATER, SHITPIRATES! >XDD CUTE BRUISER DON’T NEED ALL THESE MEGA-SWEET EXPERIENCE POINTS TO KNOW A COOL CAT BOUNCES WHEN THE LITTER BOX GETS FULL
MEENAH: MEANEST MUHFUCK IN THE AFTERLIFE
ARANEA: STILL HERE, STILL SECRETLY EVIL
VRISKA: JUST… TRY NOT TO FUCK ANYTHING ELSE UP? IT’S ALMOST OVER.
ARADIA: KNOWS THAT DOUBLE DEATH CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH FOR ALL OF HER WONDERFUL FRIENDS :)
Characters: Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon
Equius moaned where he laid, his muscles shimmering under the light. His wet form squirmed in preparation, in anticipation. “Nepeta, fetch me my pumping underpants” he said. Nepeta meowed and leaped over to present the grey pants, then scurried away. He slipped them on.
Lying on a bench, he looked up to face what was above. Some sort of vast weight-lifting apparatus was above him, its intricate parts weaving into each other. He thrust his arms into a tangle of metal bars and began to push.
Muscles wriggled and flexed across his form as he heaved. Equius made incredible groaning noises. He pushed harder. His muscles bulged and rippled. Screeching and cracking could be heard, somewhere up in the apparatus. The bench dripped a little.
Little chunks of metal showered down as he PUMPED.
"Aaaaaaah" murmled Equius. He was ravaged by incredible weight-pounding ECSTASY.
"NEPETA. I NEED MORE WEIGHT" he screamed as his glistening veins bulged on his face. His surroundings were drenched, and the drippings from the bench began to pick up. Nepeta scurried up and slipped a remote from her pocket to activate the controls. Metallic arms reached down from the apparatus to pick up weights from around the room.
Liquid showered over the edges. Equius gurgled as some sweat poured into his mouth. He coughed it out and gave one final push.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said Equius.
Nepeta looked on in a corner, and faintly meowed.
oh my fucking god i can’t stop laughing why is this so brilliant i can’t breathe halp
REBLOGGING THIS TREASURE FOR THE POOR DEPRIVED FUCKERS WHO HAVEN’T READ IT YET
Feferi wasn’t such a good liar after all.
Eridan glowered and adjusted his scarf, chewing darkly at the wool. He pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned limp and betrayed into the corner. It was cold, and it was lonely—but it was his.
She wasn’t such a good liar, not when he confronted her. That nervous smile, the way her eyes darted toward the door when he demanded the truth.
Like she was going to bolt from him. Like he might attack her at any moment. She had made him feel small and vile with that look in her eyes. That look that said “I see it coming, but there’s nothing I can do to help.”
She could have stayed. She could have done something other than try to fix him and fail. She could have said yes when he offered her his heart on a silver fucking platter—was it not good enough?
All the things he did to prove he was worthy of having her, all the favors, all the little gifts and gestures. He had even pretended to be her soulmate, pushed all the little buttons that should by all rights have lit up her passions like a fireworks show.
But she had refused him. Refused him, and rubbed salt in all his wounds by calling him her best friend forever.
Friend? How could he settle for such stale crumbs of affection? How could she expect him to sit around, night in and night out, and share feelings with her knowing what he’d almost had, and lost?
Hadn’t he done enough of tuning out her inane prattle about leadership and egalitarianism for one lifetime? Not to mention her feelings. Her endless, endless feelings. And that way she had of always asking him to share his own. Like he’d want to prolong the torture by opening himself up to her. Couldn’t she just see that they belonged together?
Or at least, he’d thought they had belonged together. Now he was beginning to fear he’d been mistaken.
The scarf tasted of betrayal. And lanolin, faintly. Eridan spat it out.
If he’d wanted to share feelings, he would have been her goddamn moirail. She never could take a hint.
"I will never love again," he told the darkness of his soul. Then he pulled the frayed edge of the scarf back into his mouth, where it muffled his terrible sobs.
* * *
"She dumped you?" Karkat gasped, his face crumpling. "Eridan, oh no! Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I dumped her!" Eridan snarled. "After she said she wanted to end it."
"Eridan, sweetie, I"m so sorry." Karkat’s tears flowed like waterfalls down his stone-gray cheeks. "You did things for her! Lots of things!"
"I fed her lusus," Eridan sighed miserably.
"You fed her lusus and she dumped you!"
"I dumped her," Eridan repeated. "Kar, what am I going to do?"
"All I know is, that fuckass will pay for hurting you!" Karkat hugged Eridan tightly and cried with him.
* * *
"I can not countenance the temerity of that female," Kanaya shook her elegant head so that her rainbow patterned earrings jingled. "To abscond so heartlessly while you are stricken with emotional incontinence. The ignominy of it, Eridan. It is literally like a powerful blow to my midsection, possibly one inflicted by supernatural means by a vengeful boy on a path of nihilism."
"Yes, it’s like she stuck her trident thr—" Eridan began.
"Did you not acquire sustenance for her monstrous custodian?" Kanaya demanded, elegantly. "Often?"
"All the time," Eridan sighed, "But she—"
"And she severed the relationship in such an impromptu and inelegant fashion." Kanaya wiped away a single green tear.
"I dumped her, actually, but—"
"She did not even offer you the small kindness of what my peers in the romantic literature genre would refer to as the acquaintance zone. I do not envy the next person she ensnares in her vituperous web of lies and manipul8tion. It is almost as if she is some kind of scheming arachnid." Kanaya looked wistful, and Eridan groaned. He hoped this wasn’t going to end with some kind of proffered tale of sorrow from her own quadrant affairs.
"Yeah, it’s like… she treated me like—"
"There is no recourse for this betrayal, Eridan. We must seek reparations at once for this odious deed." Kanaya rose elegantly from her chair and embraced him. They cried together.
* * *
"So you batted at the red quadrant and she hissed you down?" Nepeta asked, and batted at the dangling drool-soaked end of his scarf. it squished beneath her paw-like hands.
Eridan sighed. “She was going to, but I dumped her. Because I can’t stand bein’ upright treated like that.”
"Pawful. I’m so sorry, Purridan." She sniveled a little, then got distracted by the movement of her shadow on her shipping wall. They had just finished smearing blood over every pairing that featured his so-called moirail, and they were all cried out. Her attempts to catch the bug annihilated Sollux and Karkat in every quadrant, but that was all right. She somehow didn’t think that pairing would matter much in the future of the game. Just one of those little feelings.
He offered the olive-blooded rogue another sardine. She silently devoured it, and he took the opportunity to heave a ragged sigh of despair. It was awful, crying yourself hoarse. This observation, for no reason he could discern, reminded him to visit Equius next.
"Cat-butt I thought you did favors for her and stuff," Nepeta finally said. "Like, you fed her cat a meownch of times."
"It was an eldritch abomination from beyond the fuckin stars, Nep, but yeah, more or less."
"Impurrsible. Cats don’t leave if you’re still feeding them. She has no meowght to purreat you this whisker."
"And yet," Eridan grumped.
"I don’t like Catfishsmellfy," Nepeta decided. "I think I’ll ship her with someone really icky. Cat pun."
"You do that, Nep," Eridan said, and stumbled over various large animal carcasses that littered the entrance of her cave. She chased after the trailing edge of his scarf and nearly choked him to death, noticing just in time that his cries had become stifled quacks and his attempts to flee her extreme role-playing grew steadily more feeble.
Such a clean death would, he reflected bitterly, have been too easy.
* * *
Equius wouldn’t let him in his hive, but tossed down a bottle of shudderingly warm milk with a sweat-soaked note taped to it.
The note read “D —> The thought of punishing this willfull filly for her betrayal makes me too STRONGLY angry to be 100% certain I could remane stable. Take this milk and know that I never wore blinders with regards to the behoovior of the so-called empress in waiting. Were I certain it would not pulverize your skeleton in various load-bearing places, I would embrace you in manly tears.”
* * *
Gamzee wasn’t in his hive. Eridan refused to look in the backyard tent, which was suspiciously illuminated. Grunts and the occasional stammered moo emanated from within. Eridan shivered.
He decided that, bitterly wronged by the black witch Feferi or not, he didn’t need sympathy that much.
* * *
Aradia’s hive was in ruins and bits of her charred skeleton lay scattered across the front lawn. He skipped her. (Although, as he left her lawnring, he could have sworn he heard tortured sobs and a breathy cry of “that wh00000re” on the gentle night breeze.)
* * *
"Wow ED I hath no idea thee wath thuth a floothie," Sollux lisped, swatting at an over-intrusive mind bee that had landed on the sleeve of his sexy black-and-yellow striped body stocking. "Thath thuckth, brother."
"Huh?" Eridan wept. "Can you just maybe write your half of this conversation down or something?"
"Maybe we thould hook up later thomethime," Thollux mused. "You know, during the game."
"Game?" Eridan repeated, dumbly. "Oh yeah, the world’s ending today, isn’t it."
Sollux rolled his eyes (Eridan was almost positive) and pointed at the flaming nightscape outside his filthy hivestem window. “Uh, yeah? Half of Althernia’th on thire. Can thith journey of thelf-thithcovery maybe wait until after we all get into the Methium?”
Eridan put his arms around his scrawny rival and sniffled. “You’re the only one who understands me,” he assumed gratefully, and from the noises Sollux made, he was sure he had a shot with him later, possibly during the game. Sollux used his psionics to bring over a tissue and push Eridan off his shoulders and fifty percent of them cried out their frustration in the flickering light of the apocalypse.
* * *
Vriska cried the hardest of them all, which was strange because one of her eyes was robotic and all that came out was blue-gray machine oil.
"Jeeeeeeeeze, Eridaaaaaaaan! Jeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!"
He let himself out.
* * *
Terezi would have nothing but vengeance, so she armed herself with the Coolest Bar, alchemized a pair of nunchaku out of scalemates, and led Eridan to battle. Feferi stood defenseless and alone beneath a smoldering troll douglas fir behind Terezi’s treehive.
"OH! There you are!" she cried, spotting Eridan. "I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I know tonight didn’t end well for either of us, and I’m really sorry for that, but I got scared you might have taken it more badly than expected when you logged off Trollian. Are you all right?"
"NOW!" Terezi cried, and from seemingly every bush in the forest came an eruption and a chorus of troll howls.
"My friends," Eridan whispered, "All of them really do care!"
They converged on the confused princess, various weapons poised to stab, but Terezi waved them all to a halt with her trademark cackle.
"HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! WHO WANTS TO READ THE CHARGES AGAINST THIS INTERLOPER OF JUSTICE?"
"I shall do it," Kanaya offered, just before she was tackled by no fewer than three of her companions.
"NOPE!" Terezi announced, "We’d be here all night looking up synonyms. I’ll keep this short and sweet, like Karkle-sparkles over there."
"Terezi!!!" Karkat giggled in delight. "This is a lynching! Time and place much?"
"HEHEHEHEHE," Terezi waggled her eyebrows blindly at the smoldering carnage of her detonated lusus.
"What’s all this about?" Feferi asked, confused.
"Well you thee," Sollux began in his nasally pedantic voice, "You were horrible to ED here, tho—"
Just then, blood burst from his nose and ears. “Owth,” Sollux said, and collapsed. Karkat, Nepeta and Kanaya followed suit, swiftly bleeding out in the firelight.
"What the!?" Eridan stammered, aghast.
"ERIDAN!!!" Feferi snapped, "DID YOU FORGET TO FEED MOM?"
"Jeeeeeeeezeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!" Vriska scorned, and died eightfold.
"Beeth," groaned the Prospit and Derse Solluxes, apocalyptically, and then both died twice. It was vaguely heroic to witness, although no one would live long enough to wonder why.
"YOU HAD ONE JOB, ERIDAN!" cried the narrative prompt box below the fanfiction text body, just before the website crashed.
"OH FUCK!!!!" Eridan cried, horrified. First the meteors, now the Vast Glub! How had he failed to notice so much happening all around him? Goddamn puberty!
The last thing he heard before his eardrums popped with a warm humming sensation and the entire species died in agony was his own exasperated sigh, magnified by his own physical and romantic anguish.
Women. Can’t live with them, can’t kill them with an otherworldly psychic shriek for dumping you.
I mean for you dumping them.
[also posted here]
askallyjollychristmas asked you: I know I brought it up in conversation but here’s an ask to make it all official like: Canadian bootleg trolls in Christmas sweaters.
tavros will, in time, learn to hate winter holidays like the rest of them, once he starts associating it with getting beaten up
merry christmas everyone
fucking heroic levels of ugly christmas sweater. except no, i’d wear a couple of those all the damn time if i could.
i also want to sleep wrapped in my very own feferi, but that’s nothing new.
sketchmydayaway asked: Hey everyone, what are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?
CG: AS FOR ME, I’M GOING TO SPEND IT HERE AT LOBAF WITH THE SKELETON CREW, BEING CONTINUALLY GRATEFUL I’M NOT TRAPPED IN A SMALL SMOKY ROOM AT HOME WITH THE ONGOING TORNADO OF BUTTRAGE AND DYSFUNCTION THAT SPAWNED ME.
GG: aw :(
GG: is it really going to be that bad or are you just being you again
TA: no he2 probably beiing opiimii2tiic, remember how we had thii2 whole electiion thiing?
GG: uhhhh yeah i seem to recall you earth-creatures talking about that at some point
TA: yeah well there you go.
GG: you guys discuss politics at the supper table? are you bonkers?
TA: /poiintiing at front de2k wiith the biig 2iign that 2ay2 re2iident2 only beyond thii2 poiint
TA: ii2 what ii would be doiing iif ii were even there riight now.
CG: YES EXACTLY. AND YET COMPARATIVELY, SO SANE.
CG: SO FUCKING SANE.
CG: TWO WORDS, HARLEY.
AC: :33 < that’s thr33
CG: YEAH? WELL HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT!
CG: WAIT A SEC, I JUST FOUND TWO MORE WHERE THOSE CAME FROM!
CG: OH LOOK, THEY’RE FOR YOU, NEPETA!
AC: :33 < ppppbbbbbbbttttt
GG: atta girl
GG: but seriously that sucks
GG: im sorry your family is stupid karkat
CG: YEAH, ME TOO. THANKS.
GG: maybe you should come home with me for dinner!
GG: is that even allowed
CG: HAHA NO.
CG: THANKS BUT YOU LIVE WITH A WEAPONS GRADE NUCLEAR FAMILY AND I’M ALLERGIC TO WHOLESOME HANDHOLDING PRAYERS TO HEAVENLY FATHER AND GINGHAM TABLECLOTHS
GG: fine spend international colonial oppression whitewashing memorial day alone in a room full of will smith posters and your own weirdly sports fresh odor!!! see if i care!
AC: :33 < colonial opp whaaat
GG: my nuclear family is doing szechuan and you’ll miss out so :P :P :P :P
CG: OH. THAT’S COOL, I GUESS. GINGHAM AND CHOPSTICKS THEN. BRING ME BACK SOME BAO OR SOMETHING?
TA: uh oh 2he know2 about your 2ecret dim 2um fetii2h! game over bro!
TA: at lea2t you’ll leave a good 2melliing corp2e.
CG: SCREW YOU I SMELL AWESOME.
TA: no ii know, ii meant that.
AC: :33 < catpurr youre not even in northfield you dont get to vote on the terrible vantas hygiene cloud situation
AC: :33 < its pawful
AC: :33 < yep
AC: :33 < y333333p
TA: nope dot jpg leiijon
CG: I’M MORE OKAY WITH THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT BE SUCKING CORPORATE DONG WITH MY CHOICE OF A MUCH-DERIDED ANTI PERSPIRANT BRAND THAN I AM WITH THE TWO OF YOU DOING
CG: WHATEVER THIS THING YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW IS CALLED.
CG: WHAT IS IT,
CG: GOOD COP CREEPY HORNY COP?
CG: DID YOU ACTUALLY PLAN THIS IN ADVANCE? OPERATION ARMPIT INTERVENTION?
TA: iit2 not my fault kk ju2t, your cool refre2hiing aroma call2 two me.
CG: ARGH NO
TA: ii cant re2ii2t the 2iiren 2ong of your piit2 kk, no one could.
TA: iit2 liiterally iimpo22iible.
AC: :33 < NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO NO
TA: cur2e this deliiciiou2 game day 2cent, iit2 liike cuddliing my very fiir2t completely overrated but 2iimultaneou2ly overpriiced football.
TA: and then makiing out wiith iit.
CG: OKAY SOLLUX THANKS FOR SHARING NOW PLEASE CAN YOU PROMISE YOU’LL NEVER TRY TO TALK AGAIN.
CG: I HAPPEN TO LIKE AXE, AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, SO YOU CAN BOTH FEEL FREE TO SWALLOW YOUR OWN TONGUES AND DIE OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND SHAME AT ANY POINT.
AC: :33 < but it buuuuuuurns!!!!!!
CG: WHAT LIKE RIGHT NOW.
AC: :(( < y333333s!!!!!!!!!!!!
TG: but it burns good is what she really means
TG: like when you roll into home base at the last possible second of sudden death and beat the other team
TG: thats your deodorant at work
TG: it made you the star bro
CG: STOP NOT BEING ELECTIVELY MUTE STRIDER. WHY DO YOU INSIST ON RUINING A GOOD THING.
TG: cant stop the feeling
TG: captor was right its like inhaling the world cup every time i set foot in our room this week
TA: 2tep off, cracker, he2 miine.
TG: jesus christ sollux have you looked in a mirror lately
TG: or did you think it was broken and just displaying a stock image of a pair of gimmick glasses on a snowfield watermarked with some black hair sticking off it because i may be wonderbread but youre like
TA: do tell, 2triider
TA: ok, you have a poiint.
TA: but at lea2t ii can riide the biig riides at the faiir.
CG: LIKE LITERALLY, IT BURNS? FROM ACROSS THE LAB?
AC: XOO < Y33333333333333S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CG: AFK FOR A MINUTE. DON’T BURN THE CHAT DOWN WHILE I’M GONE.
TA: 2mell you later 2exy.
CG: FUCK YOU I’M JUST GOING TO FIND ONE OF MY POP TARTS, ASSUMING YOU DIDN’T CLEAN THEM ALL OUT WHILE YOU WERE PACKING, YOU GODDAMN TAPEWORM-INFESTED TRUFFLE HOG.
AC: :33 < thanks karkat i really apurreciate it.
CG: EAT SNOT.
TA: eat ME
TG: not if i get there first
GG: oh my god you people have so many layers of bullshit i cant even tell what sincerity is anymore, are you flirting or hateflirting or just fucking with each other argh
TG: a lady never sprints to the end zone and back and tells
TA: jd help me gank thii2 homewrecker, you owe me one.
GG: for what????
TA: the 2aiilormoon haiir wa2nt a freebiie, you thiink ouchle22 ela2tiic2 grow on tree2?
GG: oh for petes motherfucking sake!!!! you are such a child!
GG: dave strider i am contractually obligated to hit you if you have a pretend extramarital affair with asshole A while asshole B is out of town watching his dads band destroy omaha with the power of jazz
TA: really hard.
GG: siiiigh yes fine okay really really fucking hard!!!
TG: message received
TG: but someday man
TG: someday youre gonna hurt him
TG: and ill be right there
TG: lookin sharp and smellin good
TG: with my ill beats and a box of rugby themed chocolates ready to be all caring
TG: all like
TG: what did that lisping monster say to you baby here have some kneepads he dont get to treat you like that
TG: youre beautiful when you smile and you aint smiled in a long time
TG: whered you leave that spray can lets put down a layer of sports fog and get nasty on the motherfuckin marital bed you and me what do you say princess whens the last time you let your heart decide
TG: yeah p much
TG: oh hey isnt gamzee staying at lobaf for thanksgiving too
TA: yeah ii thiink 2o.
TG: maybe it aint me you gotta look out for then loverboy
TA: waiit for real?
TG: i dont know im just doing the ironic romance thing were you being serious
TG: sorry for your lots then bro
TG: theyve been pretty huggy is all im sayin
TA: when diid thii2 2tart??
TG: couple weeks or months maybe i dont remember
TG: a while back after you and the clown had your falling out or whatever and then they started hanging out together way more
TA: what, gz and ii diidnt have a falliing out.
AC: :33 < i thought you broke up!
AC: :33 < vriska says you dumped him and he was really sad
TA: whoa FUCK am ii ever not 2hocked two hear that per2on ii2 2preadiing 2hiit around about me yet agaiin.
AC: :33 < its not true then?
TG: like sand through an hourglass
TA: ii wa2 ju2t pii22ed at the world and took iit out on hiim liike a complete worthle22 lo2er. iive been meaniing two talk two hiim about iit but iive been 2o tiired and WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKIING ABOUT THII2.
TG: these are the days of our lives
TG: hey but seriously man i dont know shit but what i hear
TG: you know how people need their daily dose of drama around here
TG: but realtalk i definitely seen them around
TA: and kk 2uppo2edly allow2 gz2 liiteral phy2iical appendage2 two be draped around hiim
TG: mmhmm with reciprocation and everything
GG: its not what youre making it out to be dave
TA: what diid kk tell you?
GG: theyre not doing it and thats all i intend to say on the matter of this particular gossip
TA: what the chrii2t.
TG: you snooze seventeen hours a day you lose man hows this rocket surgery to you
TA: yeah okay ii gue22 ii have iit comiing.
AC: :33 < you guys so n33d to talk about this
GG: ok i will confirm that this would be a good idea!!!
TG: can we talk about karkles and his magical sports pits again please
TG: yalls romance bullshit gives me fail chills
TA: yeah but fiir2t ii have a reque2t for np iif that2 ok.
AC: :33 < yes?
TA: can you go over there and 2hut kk2 chat wiindow whiile he2 iin the 2hower.
AC: :33 < whats in it for me >:DD
TA: box of pocky the 2iize of your fuckiing head iif that2 what you want, ii ju2t do not need two be dealiing wiith thii2 duriing my famiily vacatiion
AC: :33 < purr purr purr
TA: dave and jade?
TG: mums the word yo its not even my business
GG: damn skippy
TO BE CONTINUED
rebubbling for the day crowd. evening crowd. TURKEY DAY MUTHAFUCKA CROWD.
Characters: Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon
Summary: Equius works out.
oh my fucking god i can’t stop laughing why is this so brilliant i can’t breathe halp
http://archiveofourown.org/works/455858 y’all. gory, bloody, horrific medical drama with oceans of feels.
that bit cats do, where they bump up and rub their cheek on you, that’s called noofing.
OOOS nepeta takes a flying leap.
just a sketch i finished because i liked the claw glove.
for content: nepeta is a speed striker. she has the highest frond-to-frond kill count (sollux has her beat if you count telekinesis). she once referred to her work as “pounce-CUTE-ion” and vriska whacked her upside the head with a chunk of fruitcake.
equius builds all of nepeta’s weapons with pilfered starship alloy so the equipment won’t slow her down.
things that luka thinks way too hard about.jpg
Behold the power of Homestuck. Even people who don’t read it make fan art for it.
GC: 1 MUST 3XPR3SS 4DM1R4T1ON FOR 4 C3RT41N V1C1OUS GU4C4MOL3 BLUR T34R1NG 4 R1GHT3OUS P4TH OF F3L1N3 D3STRUCT1ON THROUGH 4 S34 OF BLU3B3RRY W4RMONG3RS
Nepeta from OoOS.
Since this ‘verse is way more populated and adults do live on the home planet, there are large cities. Nepeta lives in one and is basically your standard urban assault ninja.
She has added various weapons to her arsenal but still prefers her original Wolverine claws. She carries around a backpack full of nitro 9 explosive gel obtained from a very hyperactive and behatted little rebel sympathizer who lives in the carapace part of town.
Outside the L1GHT4F1R3 digital war room, her trolltag is is AllezCatastrophe.
AAAAAAA MY DARLINGS I AM SO SORRY WE DID THIS TO YOU