You leave them while you still have the last word, opening the door hidden in thin air and stepping into a different iteration of your bedroom. You know it’s different, because you’re in there already, making out with Tavros on your bed.
You wonder fleetingly if the space cadet would be able to tell how this you died. But that’s unimportant.
Tavros opens dazed-looking eyes and blinks at you. “D-dave?”
“Yo. Hey, Dave, let’s step into my office.”
You stop all activity and rearrange your pants as you join yourself in the closet.
TG: were doing this
DTG2: were making this happen
DTG2: you come up with the shittiest passphrases
DTG2: along with the worst ideas ever
DTG2: not just the nepeta thing
DTG2: this whole fucking thing
DTG2: i dont do side quests
DTG2: side quests mean new and sideways ways to get completely fucked over
DTG2: side quests are like taking the slutty cheerleader to Roissy
DTG2: whole new horizons of fucking
TG: i deserve to be the hero just for once
TG: ill fix it all when im done
DTG2: in the meantime he could die
You punch yourself right in the mouth, fast enough that you don’t see it coming. You punch back, right to the kidneys. You fight, and it’s short and hard and nothing gets accomplished but you split the middle knuckles on your right hands (you don’t know why it’s always that one). You think you probably won.