I have a question. When I'm stressed or worried I sometimes clap my four fingers against my palm repeatedly, is this what's meant by "hand flapping"? I never could figure out what that meant.
i do that too and it feels exactly the same as my other flappy/stimmy movements. there’s a bunch of different ones, from the little kid whole-arm wing flaps to jazz hands or even just flailing around with one finger.
kind of tangenting here, but i just thought of something hilarious. autistic people apparently have a knack for snagging dialogue from TV shows or books or songs and responding with the quotes in ways that seem a little off to non autistic folks. i am terrible with this because i grew up on Doctor Demento and sometimes the lines that feel right and suit my sense of humor require massive explanations.
thing is, i just realized, i also do this with stims! i actually picked one up from a spergy TV character once and it has been my favorite, rapidly switching my first two fingers back-and-forth with elbow bent, hand is up in the air by my ear. i’ll catch myself walking from room to room like this while i’m looking for something i’ve misplaced. i’m sometimes aware of it and have always wondered if i was faking autism because it didn’t originate with me, but i think that no, i’m just quoting again.
i also, and this is so incredibly nerdy, picked up Rikku’s little finger-waggle from FFX (the one she uses in her Overdrive animation). something about the rhythm of it just scratches an itch in my brain. i don’t even care if i look developmentally delayed doing it—feels good, man.
i think i do it in public too, but i have tried not to because i still, despite everything, have a major insecurity thing about being treated as mentally disabled, even though i am. lol. i fucking hate the way people talk down to me, the change in tone and vocabulary and the prolongued silence before replying is not subtle at all.
am not always aware of flapping or stimming. i know for sure i do other stuff because i’ve asked friends to tell me what they’ve observed (i suspected i was asperger well over ten years ago, but i had faulty information at the time that indicated that creativity, empathy and having no aptitude for math ruled out aspergers, and obviously autism is for the violent screaming kid in the corner, yadda yadda) and there was a lot of stuff i thought was just normal (because it felt normal, and i was not aware of other people’s body language at the time) that turns out not to be, at least for non autistic people. after that i started paying attention and yeah, they really don’t do that stuff.
friends are welcome to tell me if i’ve missed any of my own tweaks. i find it utterly fascinating to think of myself as an observable set of stereotyped movements.