herebedragonflies:

There’s a fluffy pink bathrobe on the back of the door. It’s probably your host’s, but it’s probably less alarming for her to see you in this than in clothes covered in blood. You don the robe and your shades and go looking for laundry facilities. 

Your host is hovering outside the bathroom door. “Are you the one who killed it?”

“‘It’ being the zombie so brain-damaged it didn’t know it was supposed to stop when I cut its head off? Probably.”

She’s coming at you and you nearly take her hand off before you realize it’s for a hug.

HELL

FUCKING

YES

herebedragonflies:

Happy Apocalypse/One Year Birthday for HBD!!!

In honor of the occasion, I finally present you with the other winning pairing from our request earlier this year. Hussie/Luka. 

It’s been a great year, and here’s to another one (because it is definitely going to take us that long to get anywhere with this).

omfg;sdf;lkasdjafweoisdaf

ps - i approve of this “more HBD” talk. i approve of it with my most fancy of grins.

herebedragonflies:

You leave them while you still have the last word, opening the door hidden in thin air and stepping into a different iteration of your bedroom. You know it’s different, because you’re in there already, making out with Tavros on your bed.

You wonder fleetingly if the space cadet would be able to tell how this you died. But that’s unimportant. 

Tavros opens dazed-looking eyes and blinks at you. “D-dave?”

“Yo. Hey, Dave, let’s step into my office.”

You stop all activity and rearrange your pants as you join yourself in the closet.

TG: were doing this

DTG2: were making this happen

DTG2: you come up with the shittiest passphrases

DTG2: along with the worst ideas ever

DTG2: not just the nepeta thing

DTG2: this whole fucking thing

DTG2: i dont do side quests

DTG2: side quests mean new and sideways ways to get completely fucked over

DTG2: side quests are like taking the slutty cheerleader to Roissy

DTG2: whole new horizons of fucking

TG: i deserve to be the hero just for once

TG: ill fix it all when im done

DTG2: in the meantime he could die

You punch yourself right in the mouth, fast enough that you don’t see it coming. You punch back, right to the kidneys. You fight, and it’s short and hard and nothing gets accomplished but you split the middle knuckles on your right hands (you don’t know why it’s always that one). You think you probably won.

heck yeahhhhhh heck flippin yeahhhhhh

herebedragonflies:

Log:

Read More

aaaah oh god how did i not see this update before

i have

so much love

for these daves twofold

rainbowbarnacle:

herebedragonflies:

No, you are not reaching for the light. You are staying away from the light. The last time you reached for the light you woke up snuggling with another dead Dave and nearly took an elegant grand jete off the handle. Man was not meant to live outdoors. Give you concrete and muggers and thugs with knives any fucking day of the week and you will be king of the sewer-rats in no time. This wilderness shit is awful. You have no idea if you’re even in walking distance to the nearest city. You managed to stretch the bottle of apple juice you had in your inventory over three days, but that was a day ago and every tick of your internal clock reminds you now that you’re going to die of dehydration soon in the most unironic and uncool way conceivable. It’s really tempting to just lie down and curl up and sleep until the misery goes away, but you were raised better than that.

 
Plus you did that tomorrow and woke up today to your own corpse lying there looking way less hot than usual and goddammit you are fucking sick of finding your own corpse. At least this is some reassurance that you’re heading in the right direction. If this were a direction you shouldn’t be heading, you’d have found your corpse already. You’re pretty much infinitely fucking expendable, and your corpse is way better than Hansel and Gretl’s breadcrumbs because ain’t no fucking bird making off with your whole carcass in like a day. Everyone lost in the goddamn woods should be leaving corpses around to mark their trail.

You may be a little delirious.

O-oh dear.

GROSS!

AWESOME!

herebedragonflies:

It eases some of the tension in your chest that he wasn’t dead, just bored, at last check. As far as you know, he doesn’t have any limit on how long he can stay up there, so he won’t have to see what’s on the ground and the Nepeta thing can be your own shame.

Hopefully he won’t let boredom lure him down too soon.

He probably won’t.

He trusts you.

Fuck.

Next.

STAY UP THERE JOHN STAY UP THERE THEY EAT WINDYBOYS IN GW

herebedragonflies:

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

I am basically dying right now, this is the best meta crossover fanventure fic ever, holy cats.

herebedragonflies:

A piece of that ass, always taunting you. Tcaolin would look good in glasses, even if you can’t play with her like you play with the rest. The magic version of the blue pills mean you don’t need to play, strictly speaking, but you do like your games. You want to strip some of that haughtiness from her: she thinks she’s always so in control of everything, even you, and that’s just not right.

A piece of the useless fuckwad’s body, because Kano’d had you trapped in there for years. You want revenge on him, which means screaming your existence in his face until he can’t skive off like the pussy he is into denial.

A piece of the fucking pie. You’ve been dead and living a half-life and it’s got to stop.

why Red is a horrible asshole and i’m glad he isn’t real.jpg

herebedragonflies:

Oh dear.

“You don’t even look like a thing that was ever supposed to be out anyway!” Kid is as animated as ever. You can see different shades of dimness through the faintly dripping hole through him.

“Did horrorterrorth do that?” asks the grey child.

Kid shouts at him, “No! It’s not important. You should go away now.”

You hear the sound of too many grinding teeth. “How do I get out of here, then, wriggler?” 

Heart-shaped holes through traumatized preadolescents: THE WEBCOMIC.

(hell fucking yes)

herebedragonflies:

You are Fuuka, and the world is collapsing around you. Kid is separated from you, trapped in the dark, and in amongst the clatter of falling rocks you now hear violent swearing. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Who the fuck is that? Jegus, where the fuck did this fucking pustule of a nightmare fucking dump us this time?”

A grey, horned shape materializes in the dimness. He looks like a monster, but smaller and more frustrated. You take a firmer grip on the sword anyway, as this place is strange. “Pardon me, are you new here?”

The figure scrubs a hand through messy dark hair. “Depends what kind of festering waste-pit this is. Last thing I fucking knew I was in Captor’s hymnoptera-infested dream-boil. Past-me shouldn’t have been such a shitsponge as to slip up and fall asleep.”

And then he’s gone again.

>Fuuka: Investigate

ok yeah i know i reblogged these in the wrong order. 

and then the realization hits: oh holy shit the zones are the same thing as dreambubbles OH MY GOD.

herebedragonflies:

You make your way to where he was, climbing carefully over the rocks. He might have fallen further, though you know not where. If it’s through to another zone, you don’t know if following would even be feasible.

The rubble of the storage room is undisturbed where he stood. He simply vanished, though you are learning that simple is quite commonly misleading in this place. Next to where he stood, though, is the crumpled body of another humanoid. Grey and horned like the last, but the horns are different and this one bleeds yellow from the head.

More HBD? Blood? Sollux blood? Is it my birthday already or did I just die and go to the good heaven?

At any rate: holy shit her dress came out so good in this page, hnnnng.

herebedragonflies:

You flashstep as far away as you can see. Repeat six times.

Pesterchum is showing a bunch of missed messages. This fact is significant. It means that not everyone on your timeline is dead yet. And it means something strange just happened. It means that the space cadet was also a wifi hub or something, since no way in hell was that flash of whatever-it-was a coincidence with your internet coming back up.

You are not happy about this. Unexpected powers usually mean that you are going to die horribly. It took you a long time to know all of Jack’s powers so they weren’t unexpected anymore.

Now you need to find a way to a town to regroup and figure out how you’re going to kill the pitiable space cadet. 

KANO& = HUMAN WIFI HUB.

canon’d so hard.

herebedragonflies:

“I’ve been sent to find you, then. Well, him.”

The furry shifts to stand protectively between you and the space cadet. “Oh, aye?”

You flashstep around her and press your sword to the space cadet’s neck. “Tell me how to release the princess’ soul.”

 

He turns blank panic-eyes on you and twitches a hand up to touch your arm. He’s short and skinny and mostly hair, so you’re not worried about him trying to shove you away until his hand touches your arm and everything goes white and black and Pesterchum lights up like it’s goddamn Christmas.



The furry is behind you, winding up with her black-glowing fists and she’d punched right through the guard’s head with that fist oh shit. 

i know as the author of half of the content used in this crossover i shouldn’t be fanboying the fuck out of it

i know

but i don’t care

herebedragonflies:

So Tcaolin’s dudes are sumo wrestlers with creepy blank masks nailed to their heads. Whatever. You have faced down mountains of plush smuppet rump. If you were to be ruffled by anything - which you totally aren’t - it would be smuppets before sumos. One waves mutely for you to follow him, using a giant fucking sword for the gesture.

You follow. You don’t need to be told. They take you on a path that seems exclusively made of tree roots to a camp in a clearing between what are trees or branches of the enormous trees you’re walking on. You’re not sure the difference matters. The sky looks dark blue instead of black, so that’s a comforting change from the void above Lohac. There might even be stars up there. At least it’s a step closer to the light-polluted dull orange of Houston, where no one expects you to be able to see stars.

The other dudes are walking as quietly as you are despite their bulk. It’s a bit reassuring that Tcaolin isn’t running a complete crackerjack organization. 

*weeps*

i am not worthy.

herebedragonflies:

The water’s cold. It takes precisely thirty-two minutes and sixteen seconds to swim to the far shore, where the fire’s burned down to hot ash. Smells like you imagine Vermont in the fall, but with ground the consistency of Texas asphalt in a heat wave, melting and black and sucking at your shoes. Your pants are dry to the knees in four minutes thirteen seconds as you walk away from the lake. God-thing’s dudes might not be as chill as you about the fiery death thing, so you should probably meet them a little farther into normal temperatures. 

DAAAAAAAAVE, hahahhahahah!

*giggling madly*

h-hands…

in his p-p-pockets…