augh why do i suck so much
why do i suck so much
why do i do this to myself argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh
they’re letting me try again
i’m gonna take this moment to beat myself up, then i’m getting on the phone
phoned the office, left message, they will get back to me in 24 hours or so. i needed to take some time to bash myself over the head so my anger would push me into swift movement, but now that it is done i forgive me because this is not how i feel like i would have handled things were i not chemically altered and riding the crazy train a little bit.
mostly the reason i feel so awful is that seebs has been lending me grocery money this month and i knew there was going to be followup but somehow i just stopped valuing the “checking my mail daily” part of that process. like, it just didn’t feel important, even though i was anxious about the paperwork taking so long and i knew that it would come in the mail.
this is where i would say “don’t do drugs, kids” except i was prescribed this fucking medicine so i could function
who loves irony, i do, ido