oh my god this story

vastderp-placeholder:

jumpingjacktrash:

this story

this story

it’s been a while so i’m rereading it from the beginning and it’s even better the second time through

every fucking pixel is gold i can’t believe this prose it’s sublime

also, cromwellsAquarium, how did i miss that? i’m so glad i caught it this time around because it is a thing of beauty

brb going back to roll around in it some more

Jesse puts it way better than me. RB and I whipped out our laptops to read the damn thing and it was like this dead silent session other than the occasional giggling or “OH NOOOOOO”.

Just so good. And holy fuck, that lusus bit. Holy fuck :(

vastderp-placeholder:

kind of an early draft, but let’s see how it works in play.

omg almost there

cmonnnnnnn

hey guys you want to know how good i am at smelling a rat?

last night’s concern troll turns out to be friends with both a SJW who thinks they’re gamzee and has reliably appeared to take wee little potshots at me from the edges of every major drama to cross my dash since their anti-brainbent squawkfest went up in farts, AND that person who thinks they are a magical dragon and gave me and jesse our very own squares on an EVIL ANTI-SWJ BINGO CARD :3

hee.

i’m howling it’s literally post after post of complaining about harassment and no actual harassment at all meanwhile they and their friends are spamming my blog and calling me names (like you do when you’re the victim) while i tell my friends i’d rather they not to troll anyone

bwahahaha

i am going to post the shit out of this shit but first i must sleep

oh this is christmas

VASTDERP IS EVIL

image

ahahaha i forgot about this

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stop VASTDERP before he kills again

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report VASTDERP send him to jail

hahahha no holy fuck, wow, that's actually perfect. "that would make me ableist" yeah you wouldn't want kankri chewing you out so work around it, we have no idea what you actually want to say about someone when you're saying it and star out a letter.
Anonymous

i also just found all my screenshots of the “harassment”.

the incident they’ve mutated into a tale of torment at my hands is mostly them talking boring smack about how much i suck (fine by me) and one friend going “darn i sent asks to vastderp’s blog but i got the brush off”

so abuse

very stalking.

it was all so boring i deleted all these screenshots when it all died down, but my backup drive saves versions.

NOTE TO SELF: NEVER DELETE PROOF THAT NOTHING EXCITING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING AGAIN

vastderp:

oh shit i just realized these two screenshots from my testimonials page:

image

are also cronusamporaa receipts.

i forgot about them because i thought he was gone for good, and tonight i remembered him ripping on me and playfully calling me retarded twice in defense of his fanfiction (at the time i was supposedly ‘harassing and stalking’ him) and there they were on the page, waiting for me like old friends!

i mean it’s no “making fun of a fictional character”  (the ultimate abuse and harassment), but it’s worth a momentary acknowledgement.

found the shots on my backup drive:

hmm i wonder why i was rude hmmmmmmmmm

oh shit i just realized these two screenshots from my testimonials page:

image

are also cronusamporaa receipts.

i forgot about them because i thought he was gone for good, and tonight i remembered him ripping on me and playfully calling me retarded twice in defense of his fanfiction (at the time i was supposedly ‘harassing and stalking’ him) and there they were on the page, waiting for me like old friends!

i mean it’s no “making fun of a fictional character”  (the ultimate abuse and harassment), but it’s worth a momentary acknowledgement.

My Take On Eridan Ampora

jumpingjacktrash:

vastderp:

Eridan was canonically desperate for a relationship. He pestered people so much that even Equius was creeped out. But was it a sexual thing? I don’t think it was. I think he wanted someone else to value him and make him feel like he could live up to the role society raised him to believe was his natural place. When he didn’t feel himself living up to it, he responded by trying to fix it by filling the gap in his self-worth with another person.

And because he was hyper-focused on meeting that need, to the exclusion of all else, he missed the crucial ingredient for a relationship, reciprocity. He had a relationship with Feferi, but because she didn’t make him feel like someone who deserves to be an Ampora, he pissed that away. He had a relationship with Karkat, who tried with supernatural levels of patience to help him see his problems for the self-sabotage they were, and make him understand why people wouldn’t respond to his objectification of them with anything but disgust. Karkat picked up the work that exhausted Feferi until she had to give him up, and again, Eridan pissed that away.

He perpetually ignored reciprocity and valuing other people as equals in his rush to have a relationship that would validate him as a person. Other people sensed that he did not care about them, and shot him down. But for all he was rejected by others, Eridan shot himself down in a much crueler way, by obsessing over his perceived value in a society that no longer existed, and treating friendship as a status symbol.

He was not able to let go of the unattainable, ideal Eridan Ampora, and he refused to engage with anyone who tried to point out how he was sabotaging himself. The block he placed on his own understanding of other people as valid in their own right isolated him and reinforced his persecution complex, until he was stuck in a vicious cycle of confirmation bias (everyone will reject me) and self-loathing.

What did he fear the most? Loneliness.

What did he do about it? Hide on his Planet for the entire game, except when he left to go pick a fight with Sollux, who represents everything Eridan was raised to devalue, but somehow “got” Feferi (as Eridan would have seen it).

Self-sabotage at its finest.

Eventually, his grudge turned to hatred for other people, and he dived right into his role as a Hope player, choosing to interpret his role in the most self-serving, nihilistic way possible, because at least then his flame-out would be done in the name of finally living up to something.

His loneliness was his own doing, and his choices fueled by that loneliness were despicable, but I pity the poor fictional asshole because haven’t we all fucked ourselves over and not gotten it until too late? 

Very effective character. One of my favorites.

this is an excellent analysis. he’s honestly my favorite tragic character, because i felt like he was on the verge of catching that first thread of maturity, maybe the tentative beginnings of learning how to value others — and his real self — over that impossible image. but he never got the chance, and it’s his own fault. he fucked up irretrievably before he could save himself.

i enjoy writing au’s where he didn’t blow it so badly, where he got a chance to grow up. i like writing him clumsily trying to make amends while struggling to understand what exactly his crime really was. sometimes (like in ‘lee shore’) he does understand, and begins to repair his friendships. sometimes (like in ‘rule of transformation’) he doesn’t quite grasp it, or restitution is impossible. i just love writing the struggle.

he’s a really complex character. i would’ve loved to read a canon redemption arc, but the fact that he can’t have one is what makes his tragedy so poignant.

yessss.

(via an-archive-of-ancients)

I'm surprised you didn't change the lyric to "let it flow"
Anonymous

vastderp:

asdfg I AM REMISS

fixed. changed to both ‘flow’ and ‘blow’